Thursday, February 24, 2011

its not always rainbows.

a clean slate.
7 months in and i finally have a clean slate .
&& yet my "spriritual experience" of love and acceptance has yet to hit me.
i still dont know of my fate.

situational depression, of me thinking what could possibly be.
i could sit here all day, and dream, and think
but what good would that do me .

love. sometimes i think, its not for all of us.
we all love someone, just not in THAT way,
or vise, versa
yeah, it hurts a little , but the pain will fade
your body will numb, without the use of the coping mechanisms you had once before
how to deal, no drugs, no people, no love just you.

deep breath. sitting at a standstill with a whole in my heart and to much on my brain.
i vent not looking at the keys or the screen in front of me .
im driving myself insane.

teardrops running down my eyes.
with things i could only mezmorize
is it you, is it me , tell me who
could this be?
a comfort comes over my body.

i just want someone to hold me close , say you'll never let go ,
because the pain i feel is to real to deal with alone .
i need a comfort over me.

im lost, yet i had no where to go in the first place
and deep down , more than anything i want to be found.
not all of our wishes end up as reality .

7 months. still with this same FUCKED UP mentality.