Monday, July 6, 2009

say whats REAL.

deepBREATH.
Okay,
So im sitting in my bed after a very chill day. Door room is closed, light is off, and im trying to take a nap. But, i cant. WHY? you ask? because, even though everything is very mellow in my room at the moment, my mind is just RACING. So to mellow me out, i decided to turn on my itunes and listen to some music since it is afterall a great release. I put it on random shuffle and the VERY FIRST song that comes on is..... '' Say Whats Real" by Drake. Now ,i have a lot but a little going on in jordannFAYE's world at the moment, && listening to this song made me realize something.... You know what? I think its best if i just analyze the lyrics and compare them to what im feeling this very moment. So hear it goes.

... Now this song is about 4 mins long and, im not analyzing the wholeee thing. Just the CAPATALIZED parts for single words && Parenthesis ( ) for the whole line. However, it would make more sense to read it all together. (Just a suggestion)

SAY WHATS REAL.

Why do i feel so alone? (Speaks for itself)
Like everybody passing through the studio
Is in character as if we actin out a movie role (Fake people)
Talking bullshit as if it were for you to know(Messy fake people)
And i dont have the heart to give these bitch niggas the cue to go(Let people "run over" me)
So they stick around kicking out feedback
And i entertain it as if i need that
I had a talk with my uncle and he agreed that
My privacy about the only thing i need back(Real talk)
But, its hard to think of them polite flows
Mr. Fano Poloto suits are your night clothes
And Jordan sweatsuits are your flight clothes
And you still make it even when they say your flight closed
Eyes hurting from the camera phone light shows(labeled as the girl that was always, everywhere)
Life was so full(Speaks for itself, it wasnt that full, but it was fuller)
Now this shits just being lipo'd(Now its all gone; all of it)
Always said i'll say it all on the right track(Had to pull myself together to actually speak my mind)
But in this game you only loose when you fight back(And thats what was holding me back)
Black DIAMOND bracelets(My heritage from Sierra Leone that to this day, i still haven't forgivin my father for, among other things)(ex. MOVIE=Blood Diamond)
Showing you the basics(Pretending that everything was okay when it wasnt, hiding all my feelings behind a brick wall and fake smiles)
I cant live and hold the camera
Someone gotta tape this(I cant do it anymore, i have to let it all out)
I make hits unlike a bitch
Thats married i aint miss
24 hours from greatness(I've been there many times before)
I'm that close(Only to fail... miserably)
Don't ever forget the moment
You began to doubt
Transitioning from fitting in to standing out(A mess, i thought i had it all under control, only to realize, instead of loving myself i was killing the happy person i once was slowly but surely: a spiral downfall that started WAY to fast and had inntentions of ending this gift of life that i was given, so graciously. ADDICTION)
LOS ANGELES, cabanas or Atlanta south
Watchin whole shows
Embarrassed to pull my camera out(embarrassed about my past)
And my mother embarrassed(It was painful for me, that i had to put my mother through this, we have little to no relationship now because i FUCKED UP and i dont live with regrets but if i had to take one thing back that would be it.)
To pull my Phantom out(it hurts that when people ask her, how im doing, she says alright and switches the topic to cover)
So i park about 5 houses down(So i don't even come around)
She say i shouldn't have it until i wear the crown
But, i don't want to feel the need to wear disguises around( speaks for itself)
So she wonder where my minds at accounts in the minus
But, yet im rollin round the fuckin city like your highness
Got niggas reactin without a sinus
Cause what im working with is timeless
And promoters try to get me out to they club(tried that too)
They say i have fun but, i cant imagine how(i dont anymore, dont get me wrong i still go out and have fun, but not as much as i use to)
Cause i just seen my ex-girl
Standing with my next girl
Standing with the girl that im fucking right now( havent we all?)
And shit could get weird unless they all down
And so i stay clear
We from a small town
Everybody talks and everybody listen( need to get OUT of LA)
But somehow the truth just always comes up missing(ATTENTION: i havent ever thought about, nor tried CRACK, HERION, or METH.= THE TRUTH)
I've always been something that these labels can't buy
Especially if they tryin to take a peice of my soul(They've tried it)
And slyvia be tell tez "damn drake fly"
And he be like "silly mother fucker i know"
That was your bad
How could you pass up on em?( i couldnt, i didnt)
He just Take them records
And he gas up on em( i took it and ran)
Wayne will probably put a million cash up on em (people invested in my habit to see me fail)
Suprised no one ever put your ass up on em
Or did they po?
At least they tried to
And thats what happens
When you spitting whats inside you
But you slip up and shoot the wrong fucking video( u tried it once)
And they think they could market you (ur forever a druggie)
However they decide to? nahh
But forty told me to do me
And dont listen to anybody that knew me
Cause to have known me would
Mean that theres a new me
And if you think i changed in the slightest
Could have fooled me
Boy in my city im the 2-3
Drug dealers live vicariously through me
I quit school and its not because im lazy(fucked up, couldnt keep it together)
Im just not the social type
And campus life is crazy
I could get money with my eyes closed
Lost some of my hottest verses down in cabo(who i called my BESTFRIENDS ditched me, because i made the desicion to get help)
So if you find a blackberry with the side scroll
Sell that mother fucker to any rapper that i know( CAUTION:they WILL sale you out)
Cause they need it much more that i ever will (They're still living the fastlife)
I got new shit
I'm getting better still(One day at a time)
Little niggas put my names in they verses(People talk)
Cause they girlfriend put my ass on a pedesteel(Cause they hear other people talk)
Future said cause this ye shit you better kill
And i think this got this "making of a legend" feel(i AM a legend in the making)
Problem with these other niggas they aint never real.(SAY WHATS REAL)

So basically, not my life in a nutshell(just part of it) but thats enough for right now. It drained me. Now its time for me to hear YOUR feedback, comments, questions, or concerns about my analyzation and comparison to this song and jordannFAYE's past, present and future.Dont be shy,speak your mind, thanks for blogging.&& on that note deepBREATH.

jordannFAYE
rainbowsANDgunshots.

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